Dian’s Blog

Seribu sujudpun tak cukup untuk menyampaikan rasa syukur ke hadiratMu.  KasihMu, rahmatMu, telah membasuh jiwaku.   Kau kirimkan aparatMu untuk menunjukkan jalanku.  Kau berikan kenikmatan yang tiada terkira.

Ya Allah, seribu sujudku di hadapanMu.   Air mata mengalir setiap kuseru namaMu.  Jiwaku bergetar setiap kusebut namaMu.

Ya Allah, betapa kecil aku di hadapanMu.  Semua cinta adalah untukMu.  Bukalah hatiku selebar-lebarnya, untuk menerima cintaMu yang tiada batas.  Kan kusebarkan cintaMu untuk semua yang haus dan kekeringan menggapai kasih sayangMu.  Jiwa-jiwa luka yang butuh basuhan bening air cintaMu.

Terima kasih ya Allah atas karuniaMu.  Tunjukkan selalu jalan yang lurus.  Ibadahku, hidupku dan matiku hanya untukMu.

Dalam kereta api, 7:34, 6 Jul 07.

It is amazing how God’s work in ‘dealing’ with human heart.

HE can just easily turn my heart of feeling pain becoming ‘ikhlas’ 99.99% to accept whatever it is.  No hurt feeling, no hate, no pain, nothing.  God has already taken out all my sorrows. 

I sincerely forgive everybody who hurt me in the past.  Totally.  Zero.

This is my turning point.

Now, I can face my future without any doubt.  I see brighter one.  Thousand of opportunities, a higher level of happiness, and the most important things I can freely do a lot of positive things to others.

I believe, God creates me not to be useless in this world.

I have to give significant contribution to others.  More giving.  Just give all my heart for others.

I know I can change the world, starting from my family, my friends and my community.

I believe He always besides me, He shows His love through my family and friends. Thanks God for never ending test you’ve been giving me. 

It makes me stronger and stronger.

This is me now, as my rebirth, 5 Jul 07

….. in good times and bad times I”ll be on your side forever more, that’s what friends are for….

I’m very grateful having so many friends that always be there when I needed the most.  My surrounding is full of people with beautiful heart and mind.  Sometimes it makes me cry how sincere they offer to help.  It makes me speechless. 

God, thank you for sending me your angels through my friends.  I know I could make it through my difficult days without them.   I’m happy to be loved, because of Your love.  God, thank you for Your unlimited love.

Parung, 4 July 2007

Ardi & Ryan are my focus now.  I wanna be a the best mom for them.  I want them proud of me.

Focus how to give my little angels a happy life.  Focus how to ‘mainstreaming’ Ardi.  (I will do everything to make him happy and ‘normal’ like any other children).

This month will be a starting point for everything.

I’m ready to receive another mission in my life, consider my last mission has accomplished.  I believe God will always help me and guide me to face new challenging life in the near future.

My office, 7:49 PM, waiting for driver to pick me up.

Allah selalu mencengangkan dalam memberi petunjuk, peringatan bahkan kenikmatan….

Thank you God for reminding me that I’m still a normal person, my heart hasn’t freeze like a stone anymore.  I can feel something that I almost forget what’s look like.

Ujian dan cobaan yang datang bertubi, memaksaku untuk jadi batu karang yang tegar, sehingga membuatku lupa untuk lebih ease to myself, not playing hard on myself and just let it loose.  Let it feel what I’m feeling.

Please God, send the right one, I believe you’re not letting me down.  I deserve to be happy for the rest of my life, right?

Thank you for a friend, who gives me accompany to support me without ‘pamrih’ during these last two days, to make me realize that I have a beautiful life in more days to come. It means a lot, friend.

Now, I can sleep well.  Because two days ago, it was the first time in my whole life, that I can’t sleep at all. 

Parung, 1 July 2007

Don’t ask me what I’m feeling…

It’s up side down.

Waiting for something that I don’t know what’s all about?

I know God show me in His mysterious way….. And actually I will follow whatever He makes me to do.  Is it too much?

I don’t know what I’m feeling….

I guess, I just wait and see…

One thing for sure, I believe that God shows me the right direction.

Even though, this makes me miserable.

Gosh, I have to be more patient to wait what happen to my new life.

Actually, I’m not ready for this.

Not a single second I ever think about it.

But, I have to be ready. Like it or not.

God, please send me an angel, to guide me, to give me accompany through these following days to come.

Give me strength.

My two little angels need me more than ever.

Malang, 29 June 2007

One of my mysterious friend said that Bromo is not just fantastic, but exotic!. I ‘m definitely agree.

As I come to visit Bromo again after last time in 1996, I can’t explain how excitement is coming to my feeling. A lot of sweet memories….

We have a RBM meeting at Bromo Cottage accompanied by fog surrounding us for the whole day. It’s really cold. This time, we have a very relax meeting. But, Bromo distract us, like calling us to stop the meeting immediately and just spending time to looking at its beautiful scenery.

“Negeri di Atas Awan”, I think that exactly the right words. Eleven years ago I came here during my honeymoon. And now I come again, to start a new life, a new beginning, and Bromo remain still. Looking at many old couples that coming to Bromo, I hope someday there will be somebody (is it going to be my soul mate?) that give me accompany visit this exotic place again.

Bromo, 29 June 2007