Dian’s Blog

It’s about time to move forward.

I read a sign, a clear one.

God’s love is above of all….no boundaries….can not be separated by time, space, or other ‘label’ created by human.

Sometimes, what I want is not the best as God plan for me.

"Ikhlas" is the right word to accept everything without doubt as long as that is God’s way.  No question, just accept.

I never know what’s gonna happen in the future, but I know one thing for sure…. that God never leaves me….

It’s looks like a deadlock, a closed door.  But actually it’s not a locked door.  It seems closed but I can open it with help of someone that I can rely on.  The one that direct me to find the high way.

Bismillahirohman nirrohim… I move forward.

Jakarta, 24 July 2008

It’s been awhile…..

I’ve been keeping my distance to everyone….. and cover all my feeling, so nobody knows what’s have been going in my life….

I try to find a peace place in my heart… in my own world… and try to figure out what should I do best…

Is it right?  I don’t know…. 

I’m hiding in the shadow… and keep hiding…. until I find my truly answer….

This is my life… this is my future….

I don’t regret anything happen in the past, because I grateful in everything He gives me….

I just need a little more time…. time to be alone…. and find the right answer for everything.

God, I know You’ve been there for me…. always….

(in the near future I’ll awake and come out from this shadow…. I hope it won’t surprise everyone….)  Jakarta, 7 April 2008

Walking on the beach in the morning….. feeling the seabreeze touching my hair….

My bear feet leaving foot prints along the shore….

Looking up ahead in the distance…. there is a peaceful sea with friendly waves that coming to the shore and washing my feet along the way….

In the sky….I see a double rainbows!!  Wow…..

They are really really beautiful…..magnificient….

One rainbow is unbelieveble beautiful….how about double ones?  It’s an unlasting blessed, an unlasting love,….

The wind, the clouds, the trees, the waves, the sand, and everything is smiling and thankful for Allah’s blessing for the day.

I feel so blessed.  I feel so grateful. I feel so happy.  I feel so great.  That’s because of Allah’s love.

Thank you Allah, for sending me your guardian angel, to guard me, to protect me, to be always beside me, in every step I make.

Thank you for showing me the right way…..

I see a double rainbows…..it’s a miracle….

I see a rainbow today…. in the sky….although it’s only my imagination.

But, I’m very happy to see it.  All the colours are bright and shine as their transferring a joy and happiness into my heart.

Thank you God, thank you my Lord, thank you Allah the Almighty.

This rainbow has vanished all shadows in my heart and has taken away all my sadness.

I’m ready for another journey.

I left everything behind and focus to the future.

Everyday is a new blessing day.

I’m happy because I have You. 

Thank you my Lord, for sending me angels to cheer me up everyday, their transformation are vary…. but… I always know that they are coming from You.

There is a rainbow in the sky…

There is a rainbow in my heart…

Thank you my Lord.

My office, Friday, November 9th 2007, 6:00 pm

I will remember this birthday forever.

How God send me a lot of things to be grateful and thankful for.  I can feel His love through me, a sea of love, …..   Love that can conquer everything, love that can shorter distance from thousand miles away, love that can wash my pain away, love that can give unlimited forgiveness and love that just for love.

God, thank you for sending me your angel for my birthday.  It’s the most precious gift I ever had in my life.

You borrow me your angel, I don’t know for how long, because You can take it away any second.  One thing for sure, the love that You give me through your angel is really meaningful to my life.  For temporary or permanent, it doesn’t matter.  I just thankful every second of happiness You give me through the angel.  Angel of love.

There is a sea of love, to be drown in it…..

Thank you My Lord….

Jakarta, 26th of August 2007

I’ve been through many things in my life… and I always amaze in how God giving me so many miracles in my life.

Another miracle just happened.  And that makes me want to praise Him thousand times a day just to express how thankful I am.

I feel His loves every second in my life.  He clear my path and show me the right direction.   

I never doubt of His power.  I never doubt of His care.  I want to receive His love continously and I want to share it to others.

I know You won’t let me down.  My kids and I always safe under your protection.  This miracle is the most my kids and I need at this moment.

Thank you Allah, Almighty….. I’m not afraid to face anything in this world because I have You.

Jakarta, 25 August 2007

(This is what I’ve written 5 years ago on July 2002.  I just found it yesterday.  It was amaze me, because I can see how I saw myself and my life 5 years ago.  Am I better now, or just still the same?  I now the answer exactly).

I consider myself as an optimistic, a quick learner and a high self-confidence person, who like to be challenged with new things.

From my experience, there is nothing can be done if we have strong will to do it. 

Strong will is a huge positive energy that can influence ourselves and also our environment.  The stronger our will, the more energy we will get, then it will drive us to achieve our goal.

I believe we have to manage our life, our future, otherwise the future will manage us. 

Life is a choice.  Whatever we do and like to do is up to us.  If we plan to succeed, we will succeed, if we plan to be a loser then we will be it.  Just depend on how strong we drive ourselves and how well we manage our obstacles.

Life is like a game.  We can play hard way, we can play safely or we just ignore the rule. 

It is all depend on us.

I have many weaknesses that I need to improve.  I still want to be more organized in every matter.  Not just for working or studying but also for day to day activities.

I want to have balance between working, studying and raising my family.  Sometimes, I like to do what I like rather than what important.  This ‘moody’ feeling is not good. 

I also need to learn how to be calm and not too emotional in handling anything.

I know that life is a process for me as a human being to be better and better.  The progress is important. And it also important how succeed we pass in every level.  So that, if I realize my weaknesses and try to improve them, I will be a better person each time I learn from my mistake/weakness.

Ini salah satu lagu yang selalu membuatku berurai air mata.  Bila menghayati lagu ini aku merasakan suatu tarikan dahsyat dari dalam hati untuk bisa berbuat lebih dan lebih lagi bagi sesama. 

What I’ve done so far? Till today? Is it make any significant change to others?  Have I done something meaningful in this life yet? What contribution? How meaningful? Nothing.  I’ve done nothing yet, actually.  Belum apa-apa. 

There’s a place in your heart, and I know that it is love
And this place could be much brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try, you’ll find there’s no need to cry
In this place you’ll feel, there’s no hurt or sorrow

There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place

Heal the world make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race

There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

If you want to know why, there’s a love that cannot lie
Love is strong, it only cares for joyful giving

If we try we shall see in this bliss,

We cannot feel fear or dread, we stop existing and start living

Then it feels that always love’s enough for us growing
So make a better world, make a better world

And the dream we were conceived In will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life wound this earth crucify
Its soul though it’s plain to see this world is heavenly be God’s glow

We could fly so high let our spirits never die

In my heart I feel you are all my brothers

Create a world with no fear together we’ll cry happy tears

See the nations turn their swords into plowshares

We could really get there if you cared enough for the living
Make a little space, to make a better place

Allah telah menunjukkan kuasaNya, tepat di depan mata.  Tiada kata yang bisa menguraikan rasa syukur ini.

No doubt.  This is Your will, I never doubt of Your power.  Betapa indah, damai, dan benar-benar ringan, kosong, seakan tubuh melayang bila kuhayati namaMu di dalam hati.  Betapa aku ingin lebih tinggi dan lebih tinggi lagi menggapaiMu. 

Aku ingin selalu di jalanMu, dalam dekapan kasihMu, karena tidak ada kedamaian di dunia ini sebanding dengan keberadaan di sisiMu.

Terima kasih ya Allah, kemarin, aku mendapatkan sesuatu yang mempertebal imanku kepadaMu.  Tidak ada keraguan dalam hatiku akan kuasaMu.  Engkau di atas segala-galanya.

My office, 10 July 2007, 08:02

Hal yang memudahkanku untuk melangkah ke depan dengan ringan adalah karena aku berusaha untuk tidak ‘dihantui’ masa lalu.  Apa yang sudah terjadi, terjadilah.  Aku tidak ingin masa lalu menggayut di kakiku dan memperberat langkah-langkahku.  I have to let it go.

Untuk itu maka tidak ada jalan lain selain ‘memaafkan dan melupakan’.  Sebelum bisa memaafkan 100% pasti beban itu akan tetap terbawa kemanapun aku pergi.  And I don’t want that.  Dengan penuh keikhlasan aku relakan semuanya, aku maafkan semuanya, sehingga hatiku benar-benar bersih dari hal yang negatif.

Aku berdoa semoga semuanya diberikan kebahagiaan di tempat masing-masing dalam menjalankan misi masing-masing.

Forgive and forget.

Insya Allah, hatiku sudah kosong dari kerikil-kerikil sakit hati, kecewa, dendam, atau apapun juga yang menjadi beban negatif. Dengan hati yang kosong, aku berharap bisa merasakan kasih dan sayang, nikmat, karunia dan rahmat dari Allah.  Karena aku yakin bahwa setiap detik Allah sebenarnya memberikan berkah, rahmat, kasih sayang pada seluruh umatNya, hanya saja tingkat kebersihan hati masing-masing yang berbeda dalam menerimaNya.

I feel great, I feel wonderful.  Now, I’m ready to make another journey.